BERSERKER RELATIONSHIPS
by Laurie Nelson Alexander
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Being the LightHouse
Detoxification: what an ugly word for such a beautiful
process. For my household, this year signals deep change and tremendous
transformation. You may have read about our newly embarked upon diet change to
all whole, healthy foods...loading up on fresh organic fruits, veggies, seeds and
nuts. This is a year for change,
but I think every year brings great change, whether we plan on it or not.
Part of change includes jettisoning old stuff that no longer
serves us. Our change this year includes a conscious focus on supporting the
physical body with maximum nutrition, but just this one shift will cause effect
and transformation in every other aspect of life. Going through big change is most often not easy and certainly not
always fun. It is however, worth it!
In a real-ationship with another person, whether a romantic
involvement, parent-child, or work relationship, when one person goes through a
big change (whether physical, emotional or mental) everyone else around them
also feels the effects. There is always movement in the body, mind and
soul. Anything old and
un-resourceful has to be gotten out of the way to make room for what's coming. Gotta
get rid of it somehow.
When a partner goes through this process, "getting rid of
it" can mean that physical changes like fatigue or just not feeling right
occur, but also the "detox" may come out in his words, his actions, or his way
of moving through the world...for awhile.
In our house, we are ready. I prepared for this by changing
my diet five weeks ago. Today marks Jeff's "Day 3" while I'm on "Day 40." I've
already been through the challenging first couple of weeks of detox...he's just
entering his. As Jeff's best friend, I've chosen the role of supporter and
nourisher, making sure he gets the best food in the world (fresh fruits and
veggies) prepared artfully with great love and care.
Part of being in real-ationship is sometimes just taking the
response-ability to hold the other up, even when they aren't necessarily in the
best place themselves. Knowing that I am strong enough to stay rock solid and
centered when Jeff's detox boat begins to rock in the next few days, puts me in
the position of being his lighthouse. He can look to me for strength and
guidance, and know that I will still be here and love him, even if he gets
toxic in thought, word or deed. My constant love can help him stay steadfast on
the course of Love.
Instead of thinking "what about me?" we can choose to love
another in their worst moments. Even when we don't understand why the other is
in such a difficult place or having an emotional moment, we can still know that
the process of detoxing, or moving the old stuff out to make room for the new,
can sometimes be painful and takes time. A counselor of mine once told me, "When we need love the most, is when we are
at our worst." This is what it's about to be in true real-ationship.
See you next month!
In Service,
Laurie
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Follow along with our personal journey of transformation on our health blog...
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